Join My New Facebook Group for Parents Concerned About Pornography

I hope that you’ll get involved in my new Facebook group where I hope to educate and empower parents who are concerned about the effects of pornography on children.

To get in on the ground floor, please copy and paste this url into your brower - www.facebook.com/groups/parentsconcernedaboutporn.

Stay tuned!

Hope for Those Impacted by Sexual Sin and Addiction

John Piper continues to be one of my favorite teachers. I hope you’ll take a few moments to listen to this man of God. What he shares is what our kids need to be learning, and what we need to be modeling from the inside out.

Christ offers lasting hope – even when sexual sin and addiction has all but destroyed you.

If you could use some help after listening to this brief clip, please contact me toll free at 1.888.891.HOPE (4673) in the U.S. or at 1.719.440.4893 if calling from elsewhere.

STDs, Teen Girls, and Our Prevailing Moral Crisis

The US  Centers for Disease Control concluded a study in 2004 which shows 1 in 4 American girls is infected with a sexually transmitted disease. Sadly, among African-Americans the prevalence is doubled, impacting half of females.

These numbers are cause for great alarm and grief. The physical implications of this epidemic are far-reaching, but the impact to girls’ mental and spiritual health are equally staggering to ponder. This trend extends beyond the obvious, national health care crisis, and points to a moral crisis that’s been brewing for more than 5 decades.

God, help us – really.

Within the article, I learned that the CDC promotes two practical policies:

1. Teen girls need regular health screenings – at least yearly.
2. Girls and young women between the ages of 11 and 26 should receive the HPV vaccination.

Can you imagine it? How would you feel about taking your daughter to a doctor at 11 for the HPV vaccination? What would you say to her?

To their credit, the CDC said abstinence is “the surest way to prevent getting an STD.” They also recognized the health benefits of both monogamy and “the consistent use of condoms.”

The director of adolescent medicine at Children’s Hospital at Montefiore in New York went on to recommend the use of  “emergency contraception prescriptions” such as “the morning after pill.”

Now, I realize that public health care professionals are charged with making recommendations that support the health of the whole nation. They aren’t looking at one child per se, but aggregate data .

Frankly, I don’t doubt the numbers they cite.

As for the politics – liberal or conservative – that’s a matter I don’t intend to address.

But here’s my concern. As a nation, Christian and non-Christian alike, we should be grieving. Our daughters, and no less our sons, are in trouble. And they’re in trouble on our watch.

I firmly believe that if our nation is to return to better days, individual families will have to lead the way. That means that we dads and moms are responsible for healing not only our homes, but our nation.

This turnaround won’t be easy. In fact, it won’t even be possible if we continue to ignore God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I hope in the days ahead you’ll continue to read my blog. Within the next several weeks, I plan to offer an online course for parents. Together, we’ll ask some hard questions, get down to the real issues (our love for God), and initiate some important action points for those we love the most: our sons and daughters.

An Internet Filter, A Frustrated Dad, and a New Vision – Pt 3

If you’re reading my blog, I know that you’re a concerned parent or grandparent. Maybe you’re looking for reasonable ways to protect your children from the dark side of the Internet.

because we’re care about our children, we’re diligent about protecting them from those things that are outside our homes. For example, we’re concerned about bullying, alcohol and drugs, and sex abuse. But one of the largest threats to your child’s moral development and personal safety is most likely inside your home. It’s the Internet.

So, a responsible parent installs an Internet filter, right? Then, the filter protects the child.

Well, not so fast. Let me explain.

Over the last several years I’ve known responsible families who have placed too much trust in their Internet filters. Here are some examples:

• One couple learned two years after the fact, that a computer tech had turned off their filter without their consent. Meanwhile, their sons got turned on to Internet porn.
• Another set of parents were taken aback when their son hacked the Internet filter by guessing their password.
• Numerous parents have had filters that were working properly, but they were unaware that simple searches on words like  “swimsuits” and ”models” are gateways that can lead to increasingly seductive content, including unrated pornographic websites (more on this later).

These examples take me back to my earlier question about the use and reliability of Internet filters.

Yes, I agree. An Internet filter is a good thing, and I hope that you have one. If you do, I hope that you’re maintaining and monitoring it routinely. It’s important to make sure that your child has the degree of protection that you intend for her.

But here’s my experience with Internet filters thus far.

• Filters are complex, and can be difficult to use.
• Filters can be erratic in their performance – just like the computers they interact with.
• Filters have to be maintained and monitored frequently. Even then, your child is going to be exposed to content that many of us Christians parents object to.

So what are we to do?

1. You must reconsider the Internet’s risks and benefits. Do your homework. Does your child have to the Internet? Is it worth it? Is he or she old enough, mature, and trustworthy? Is he accountable to you?
2. You must determine the degree of acceptable risk on your child’s behalf. Then modify the Internet filter based on your core values and concerns.
3. You must maintain an intimate relationship with your child. By loving your child well, he may be willing to come to you for advice when he stumbles upon pornography.
4. Much more important,  however, is that we teach our children how to filter their hearts to the glory of God.

Parents, I’m convinced that our children are watching us. They’re watching to see how we handle our own temptations. They’re also watching to see how we protect them.

Whew! We’re only about thirteen years into this global Internet experience. I love the Internet for what I can learn, and for how I can interact with others. Frankly, for me, it’s just  plain fun. But there are times for the sake of my children that I wish we lived on Walton’s Mountain. How about you?

An Internet Filter, a Frustated Dad, and a New Vision – Pt. 2

Day Two. “Houston, we still have a problem. I’m lost in cyberspace.” 

Trying to filter our Internet must be getting to me. Today I slipped and told our 11 year-old daughter that I was ready to take her great, great grandfather’s double barrel shotgun and blow the computer into cyberspace. Yes, I have it propped up in the corner of my home office. But what can you expect? I’m from the deep south.

Since I want you to have a better experience than I’ve had so far, I have three important tips for you. 

1. Get a tech support professional to service your computer before you install an Internet filter. If you don’t have one, visit www.support.com. These folks are the only people I let touch my computer. And it’s pretty cool (at least for 5 or 10 minutes ) to watch them manipulate your computer by remote assistance. Trust me. They’re fantastic!
2. Make sure that you have only one antiviral program running on your computer. I didn’t know it, but I had two, and they were slugging it out for available resources. When I downloaded the filter on top of them, I compounded the problem.  It took my tech and me more than an hour before he could gain remote access.
3. Set aside at least two hours when you start this process. Unless you’re a professional tech, this venture is going to take more time than you think. Any filtering software or application is going to be new to you, the new subscriber. And if like me, you have four family members with different levels of maturity and Internet needs, you’re going to have to set up four different user profiles. Ouch!

Having made some progress with our Internet filter, you’d think that I would feel relieved. But I don’t.

Stay tuned.

An Internet Filter, A Frustrated Dad, and a New Vision

What’s a dad to do?

Okay, okay! I give up!

Like you, I’m a reasonably intelligent parent. I’m not unaware of how the Internet is a wonderful tool for education, personal development, and just plain ’ole fun.  But I can’t seem to make the Internet safe for my kids. Not tonight. Not after working literally most of today.

 

I marvel at the Internet, and most technology in general. But make no mistake, like “the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”,  just take one bite of this bad fruit and you can poison your life forever. If your child develops a taste for the bad side of the Internet what will you do? How will you help your son or daughter break the cycle of addiction before it takes over?

 

If you don’t believe me, give me a few days, and I’ll post some anonymous interviews with real folks who have practically destroyed their lives with Internet porn and other forms of sexual excess. I know men and women throughout the nation who have not only lost marriages, fortunes, health, and inner peace, but careers, ministries, and the trust of their family members and communities. And some of these same people are ready to advocate for our children and grandchildren. In fact, here’s one of my articles that comes to mind now.

 

How about you? Will you help me to champion the safety and innocence of your children? Has Internet porn assaulted you and someone you love? Tell us your story, and start to redeem what the locusts have eaten.